So far my new start has been pretty interesting. I don’t think I have ever been this busy in a long time. I have two classes at PSU, work full-time, I try to write three articles a week for the Examiner, I am actively looking for a house to rent, I am helping my family and I keep up with my book club. I think I keep myself so busy because it keeps my mind away from things I don’t like to think about. But I do feel like that even though I am doing so much, I am still having a hard time filling the void that I feel I still have. It is hard to let go of things that you were so comfortable with and you were a part of for so long. I am really trying to be more open and honest about things because too many relationships of mine have failed because of it. I know the problems weren’t all my fault, but I some of it was. I am having such a hard time understanding and I wish I didn’t. I have been pretty proud of myself taking on new things. I am really enjoying writing and I love book club. It is nice to be involved in things that I am passionate about.
Besides my current interests, I am trying my hardest to focus more on my future. I started school last week and now it makes me realize why I wanted to get done in the first place. It is so stressful! I have been doing good keeping up, it is just hard going back to giving up my extra time to do homework. I tell myself I am doing this to better myself and have the career I want, but sometimes I feel those aren’t the reasons. In all honesty, I would love to be a travel writer. Dreams are different from reality though. I am hoping I can finish my communication degree in a year and look for a job in journalism. I think when I get closer I will think more about whether I want to work in newspaper or magazine journalism. Even though I feel that I am capable of more than what my job now entails, I need to stay put. This isn’t really an economy to look for a job right now and my retirement fund will grow more if I stay. It is hard to choose between what you want to do and what is best.
I am going to keep my chin up though and just focus on the important things. I am hoping I can get past all of the negative things that have happened lately. I think looking towards the future will help me. I am moving forward towards the career I want, I have a niece and nephew coming soon and some great vacations to look forward to. It is definitely going to be a busy year.